After clearing my emails and private messages, I realized I was never sad – but every other thread or message I send starts with an apology. "Sorry for your error!" "I was just wondering …" "… OK if it is not." Why do I apologize for existing to every email I send?
I saw a tweet on the weekend, and reminded me of a college class I once took – "how to write like a man," with unquestionable confidence. As feminist advocate Lois Wyse once said: "Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths."
Every email I send:
Sorry for your mistake!
I was just wondering
(If there is not too much trouble)
Could you do something you said you would do?
Totally nice if not!
Prob is my defect I'm even stupid 🙂
Sorry to bother!
Sorry there are!
I'm so sorry!
Just let me know!
– Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) October 19, 2018
In addition to the word "sorry", there was a word I used equally – "just". I was always "just" wondering, "thinking" or "just" adding my opinion. I used "lady tongue" to underestimate myself and seemed to rely on emoji to "reflect" only my real views and feelings.
"I just do not apologize"
It's hard to break the habit of constantly asking for apologies – whether this happens when someone else enters you or you are trying to chase someone by e-mail.
I found a Gmail add-on that offers a solution. I just do not regret it warns when using words such as "simple", "think", "sorry", "not expert" and "really" – basically, words that serve no purpose other than undermine your power or discredit skills and knowledge your.
The addition will highlight these phrases or words in red. When you fly over the underlined phrases, the tool offers pop-up pearls of wisdom as to why you need to strengthen and not undermine your message.
Just do not excuse it is part of a wider effort to encourage women to hear their voices in the workplace. Emerging advice reports specialists such as Sylvia Ann Hewlett, a nature expert and Tara Sophia Mohr, his author Playing Big: Practical wisdom for women who want to talk, create and drive.
Gender inequality has affected the speech of both women and men for centuries. A Gmail add-on will not completely eliminate the linguistic gender stereotypes, but by pointing out simple words that inadvertently undermine certain voices is a step in the right direction.
Sorry about this column, I'm not a writing expert with confidence.